Description

If you already have a draft of your Common App personal statement but are not quite sure whether it is working, this package is designed to give you a clear answer — and help you fix it before you submit. You send me one complete draft of your personal statement. I will read it first as an admissions reader would, getting a sense of the impression it gives on a quick read, and then go back through it much more carefully. I will return it with detailed comments and edits throughout the document itself, rather than simply giving you a few general observations at the end. I will also give you a short overall assessment of what I think the essay is currently communicating about you, what is working, and where I think it could be stronger. That might mean reworking an opening that takes too long to get going, cutting a paragraph that is not adding much, tightening sections that feel over-written, or reshaping an ending that explains the lesson a little too explicitly. If you are struggling with the 650-word limit, I will also show you where I think you can cut without losing anything important. Most importantly, I will give you a clear sense of what I would change before submitting, and which changes matter most. Once you have had a chance to look through everything, we will get on a call and talk it through together. I do not want you simply accepting tracked changes without understanding why I am suggesting them. After the call, you can send me your revised version for a shorter second read so I can make sure the changes have landed properly. This is intentionally a small and focused package. It is best suited to someone who has already written a full draft and wants a serious outside read before submitting. It is not meant to turn into open-ended drafting from scratch. If what you really need is help developing the essay from the beginning, or support across your supplemental essays and wider application, I offer larger packages for that as well. For some background on me, I studied at Princeton before attending Harvard Law School, and I am now a Marshall Scholar completing my doctorate at Oxford. A large part of my academic and professional work involves reading, writing, and editing closely. My aim here is to give you the kind of feedback that is actually useful: specific, thoughtful, and candid about what is and is not working.